Q & A with Kath Smith

Kath Smith is a devoted advocate for resilience, self-care, and finding comfort in life's most challenging moments. Her caregiving journey began when her boyfriend, Ben, suffered a traumatic brain injury, and she became his unwavering source of support throughout his recovery. Now, as Ben continues to thrive, Kath reflects on the lessons learned during their journey—prioritizing self-compassion, creating meaningful rituals, and embracing the small moments of joy. Through her story, Kath inspires others to navigate caregiving with strength and grace, all while finding space for their own well-being.

We’re excited to bring you this Q&A with Kath Smith!

​​Can you share a little about you and Ben, your caregiving journey, and what that experience has been like for you?

Ben and I first met in 2012 while working at The Keg in London, Ontario, but it wasn’t until two years later—after a chance encounter at a music festival—that we started dating. At the time, he was living in Toronto, and I was finishing my last year of university. Once I graduated, I moved to Toronto, and we spent the next four years enjoying our 20s—exploring the city, traveling, and growing together.

In 2018, during a trip to London, England, Ben was brutally mugged and suffered a severe traumatic brain injury. I was in Toronto when I got the call. His mom and I immediately flew across the world to be with him. Doctors told us it was unlikely he’d survive the night, but he did. Ten days later, he began to emerge from his coma, and four weeks later, we returned to Canada for rehabilitation.

Initially, Ben showed progress, but after a month, his condition worsened, leading to a four-and-a-half-year hospital stay and 66 brain and reconstructive surgeries. Becoming a full-time caregiver at 26 was overwhelming, but I was determined to face it head-on. Over time, he regained his speech, mobility, and independence—truly a one-in-a-million recovery. Now, he’s home, and I couldn’t be prouder of both of us.

Looking back, what was the most challenging part of caregiving, and how did you find the strength to navigate those moments?

The hardest part was the uncertainty. No two brain injuries are the same, and there’s no rulebook to follow. It was terrifying, but I knew I had to manage my emotions and not let fear cloud hope. Ben—and everyone around us—often looked to me for cues on how to handle the situation. If I stayed calm and logical, we could take things one step at a time. No catastrophizing, no jumping to conclusions—though the panic and fear were always lurking.

My strength came from my support system. Our family and friends carried us through, and I couldn’t have done it without them.

Were there any small rituals or routines that helped bring a sense of calm and stability to your day?

Every morning, I made time to get ready—picking out an outfit, doing my hair and makeup. It wasn’t about vanity; it was about setting a tone for the day. When I felt put together, I felt more in control. That “look good, feel good” mindset kept me from getting stuck in a rut.

Eventually, I started filming my morning routine while answering questions about brain injury and sharing insights into my life. That’s how my content creation journey began.

Comfort is at our core at This Is J, just as it is in caregiving. How did you create moments of comfort for yourself while caring for Ben?

Reading became my escape. I devoured books during that time—it was my way of stepping out of reality, even if just for a little while. Curling up in a cozy lounge set, lighting a candle, and getting lost in a story was my personal form of self-care.

Kath and Ben throughout Ben's recovery including 66 surgeries over the course of 4 years.

How did you balance caring for Ben while also finding time to care for yourself?

After about eight months of 14-hour days in the hospital, I realized I couldn’t sustain that pace. I had to accept that this was a marathon, not a sprint. So, we created a schedule—I’d arrive and leave at the same time each day (barring emergencies). That structure allowed me to carve out time for myself, whether it was doing my makeup in the morning (my personal therapy) or unwinding with a book in the evening. You simply can’t pour from an empty cup.

As Ben continues his recovery, how has your role in his life evolved, and what has this new chapter been like for both of you?

For years, Ben relied on me for everything. Now? He’s independent. At first, it was hard not to worry about every little thing—if he took his meds, made it to appointments, or was safe when he left the house. But with time, we’ve both learned to trust his recovery.

This shift has also allowed me to regain my independence. I’m traveling again, getting back into the gym, and focusing on my content creation. It’s been a transition for both of us, but an exciting one.

At This Is J, we believe cozy essentials can transform a moment. Do you have a favourite pair of pajamas or a go-to item that helps you feel relaxed and grounded?

Absolutely—This Is J’s matching sets are a staple - the material is so soft making them feel elevated and something you can totally wear outside of the bedroom. There’s something about feeling put together, even at home, that makes a difference. Add a candle and a cozy YouTube playlist, and I’m set.

What does comfort mean to you now, and how has that definition changed through your caregiving journey?

Comfort, to me, is stability and calm. For so long, I lived in a heightened state—adrenaline pumping from morning to night. Now, I find comfort in knowing we’ve made it through. There’s still so much to process, but I finally feel like I can breathe.

How has this experience shaped your perspective on resilience and self-care moving forward?

This experience has shown me that we’re all stronger than we think. I often reflect on the girl who got that phone call—the grief she faced, the transformation she went through—and I’m so proud of her. Last year, I got the word “resilient” tattooed on my back as a reminder that we can do hard things.

It’s also taught me the importance of self-care, whether that’s putting on makeup, reading a book, calling a friend, or simply laying on the couch in PJ’s all day. It’s not indulgent—it’s necessary.

Kath & Ben at home in their matching Bamboo Jammers from the Fair Isle Collection.

What are you most excited about as you and Ben focus on the future together?

Just seeing where life takes us. I hope we can continue to share our story and help others who might be navigating similar challenges.

What’s currently on your nightstand, or do you have a must-listen podcast that helps you feel inspired or relaxed?

I’m currently reading Onyx Storm by Rebecca Yarros, and next up is The Women by Kristin Hannah (The Great Alone is one of my all-time favorites). As for podcasts, like everyone else, I recently listened to Mel Robbins’ Let Them Theory, and it definitely resonated.

What advice would you offer to someone just beginning their own caregiving journey?

Take it one day at a time. It sounds cliché, but it’s true. Thinking too far ahead can feel overwhelming, but focusing on just today makes things more manageable. Also—ignore the noise. Everyone has an opinion, but only you know what works best for you and your loved one.

And finally, we know you are a wearer of our Bamboo Jammers, what is your favourite style and why do you love them so much?

Oh, the Relaxed Long Sleeve Top + Pajama Pant set  - hands down. There’s something about a wide-leg silhouette that feels so effortlessly chic while still being unbelievably comfortable.